Are you a human hoarder? Should you stay social media friends with your ex? This is a question I get a TON from readers — not just from daters wondering what dating etiquette says about unfriending someone you’ve slept with, but often because you’re in a new relationship and you find yourself really uncomfortable about the fact that your new boyfriend or girlfriend is still getting regular social media updates (and vacation photos, and selfies) from the person they’ve supposedly moved on from.
Now, it certainly SEEMS like the grown-up thing to do. To stay friendly. After all, you did like/date/love this person (or at least make out with them) at one point. Shouldn’t you keep them around?
The answer is no.
A recent study found that if you do tend to collect your exes on social media, you’re likely to be a psychopath. Or have psychopathic/narcissistic tendencies. Why? People who stay friends or continue to follow their exes tend to exhibit the “dark triad” of personality traits. And while staying friendly with all your exes might seem like you’re just a well-adjusted guy or girl, you’re most likely doing it for some personal gain — keeping them on the string to feed your ego (narcissistic supply) or for future sexual access.
Last week on Daytime, I talked about why staying friendly with an ex on your social media is actually hurting you (it takes wayyyyy longer to get over a break-up), it makes you prone to cyber-stalking behavior, and often screws things up with your new relationship. And we’ll talk about what to do if you just can’t seem to let go.
Check out the clip below. Or you can go ahead, and just keep following your ex.
xo,
