Forget about learning how to make love to a man. First you have to learn how to make a man fall in love with you.
- Mass Market Paperback: 256 pages
- Publisher: Dell (January 1, 1987)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0440145368
- ISBN-13: 978-0440145363
- Product Dimensions: 4.5 x 0.8 x 6.7 inches
- Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
Not what it claims–how to REALLY do it
If you really want to learn about love languages, “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman is much better. It will teach you how to truly interpret and sincerely relate to expressions of love between you and your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner. And if you want to make a man fall in love with you, “Why Men Love Bitches” by Sherry Argov is hands-down the best. It takes the also-fabulous prinicples behind “The Rules” (which have worked for me beautifully) and makes them practicable for the modern and/or professional woman. (I highly recommend The Rules–loosely interpreted–as well). You can read any of these books in 2-3 hours. I have read the latter two more times than I can count.
If after reading Why Men Love Bitches and The Rules, you haven’t solved your dating problems, you probably need to read “He’s Just Not That Into You”–which is not about dating as much as it is about recognizing the excuses women make for men when the truth isn’t what we want. (Gems include “No, he’s not too busy to call you. Calling you takes less time than going to the bathroom. If he’s into you, calling you is the bright moment in his otherwise busy day.”) This should definitely help build the correct mentality for expecting–and getting–both interest and great treatment from men.
And, finally, “What Southern Women Know About Flirting” has some tips and ideas that will help anyone, but particularly those inclined to play the “Damsel in Distress” card. This one’s just the icing on the cake.
Very Interesting, But Does It Work For Most Women?
But the ability to create change in other people (like getting a man to fall in love with you) is something that I believe from my experience in the field almost no one can achieve on their own with NLP.
I wrote my fishy relationship/self-help book because I saw how different the real works as opposed to the NLP-seminar-John Gray-Tony Robbins models. That experience came from dating in Southern California and going on a lot of cruises and Club Med vacations.
What I found is that people who try to use NLP techniques come across as being weird. It also has a strange way of messing with the natural karma of love. For whatever reason, when you try to get someone else to fall in love with you through an organized skill set like this, it has a way of ruining the magic for yourself.
What is important to know from Tracy’s book are the general concepts of sensory acuity and anchoring. Sensory acuity comes in handy when you recognize when you get an instant negative reaction (like bad breath, body odor, unappealing voice, talk too fast, talk too loud, talk too slow, talk too much). These things cause a person to be out of rapport. Which means an unconscious bad first impression.
Anchoring has to do with creating stirring memories or special moments. This book is about the mechanics of creating those moments which is all right, but the average person needs to feel it come naturally from within.
If a woman really wants to know how to get a man to fall in love, she must first maximize her own feminine allure (Being a Woman by Dr. Toni Grant) and then make her contacts and develop relationships. Dr. Cabot’s work will help you with identifying technical mistakes, but not some much about having more to give (variety, intensity, heart), cleansing the spirit, and understanding and appreciating a love partner.
As an author, NLP trainer, and semi-relationship expert, I think that this book addresses the 20% of mechanics when it’s done right (a very difficult task without years of training and integration…not just in a simple reading of a book!) But what most people really need is the 80% of how loving relationships work from within on the emotional-spiritual world.
My advice here is to enjoy this book and become more aware of instant triggers, but don’t get carried away and become a weirdo!
Weirdness spooks men away quickly!
Remember that love is far more spiritual than mechanical.
bad, bad advice…
Dangerous in the Hands of Amateurs
Love, Sex and NLP
It’s important to remember that the subject of dating/courtship/relationships is the size of North America, and learning NLP is only enough information to fill up the state of Florida. If you rely ONLY on NLP, you’re missing out on the magic of a relationship. (I’m not just talking about that indefinable thing known as chemistry, but I’m talking about the deeply satisfying friendship that results from a true love relationship.)
There are a lot of books that you can read once, glean a few gems, and come out ahead. This isn’t one of those. This is meant to be a manual that is studied, tried, tested and perfected.
As a dating expert, I understand the importance of NLP to cement a relationship. But many novice NLP’ers get frustrated when trying to apply this scientific approach to the emotional experience of dating. Remember when you first learned to ride a bicycle? Unless you were a super-athlete at 5, you probably fell off your bike a time or two. The same is true with using NLP to reel in a lover. It takes both patience and practice. But if you’re serious about getting a leg-up on the competition, add this book to your library of dating books. After all, information is power!
A Working Plan
Still Recommending This Book After All These Years
A lot of truth here.
Ever notice that when you are very mutually attracted to another person, your movements seem to be in sync, rapport just seems to “flow”?
Ever also notice that you can meet a very nice, wonderful person, but nervous or jerky mannerisms on their part can kill the attraction? They aren’t “syncing” with you.
After practicing her techniques, I found myself *becoming* more attracted to the other party.
Dr. Tracy’s principles have helped me recognize my own nervous mannerisms, and also the other’s. Her principles of “anchoring” offer a great way to calm down a nervous person so you can really get to know them. And the “love spell” in this case works on YOU.
It was just okay…
I can’t believe this book has been re-issued!
For the record, it did not work. It does not work. Any so-called “scientific” or “fool-proof” method to “make” someone fall in love with you DOES NOT WORK. Get over it. Save your money.