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“Engaging, well-researched and frequently hilarious, From Shy To Social is one of those rare self-help books that feels like you’re being coached and encouraged by a trusted friend. An absolute must-read for all of the love shy men out there.”
– Sofi Papamarko, Relationship Columnist & Contributor to
The Huffington Post and The Globe & Mail
If your reserved nature is making it difficult for you to date and form friendships, here is some good news:
• Your shyness isn’t entirely your fault
• You can improve in ways you never thought possible
From Shy To Social: The Shy Man's Guide to Personal & Dating Success goes far beyond simple dating pointers by providing practical assignments and cutting-edge advice for the love shy man to build social aptitude and improve dating success. An extensive reference manual on social improvement, From Shy To Social teaches you how to gain confidence in everything from telephone manners to group interaction to directly approaching women for conversation. Each assignment builds on the skills learned previously to lift your social and dating ability to an exciting new level.
Follow the advice & practical assignments to:
• Improve style, body language and voice tone
• Eliminate passivity and become confidently assertive
• Build one-on-one and group conversational skills
• Reduce anxiety when talking to women
• Increase your online dating success
• Build friendships and get invited out more often
• Open conversations and talk to women of different nationalities
• Learn approach skills for the street, bars, bookstores, and more
• Learn proper dating behavior so you no longer get the brush-off for a second date
Also included is a discussion of female psychology and actual transcripts of conversations that led to phone numbers and dates with women. The real-world assignments will help you become the better man you want to be, getting the social life you deserve.
Paperback: 214 pages
Publisher: Sunbow Press (November 4, 2011)
Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.5 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces
Real hope for shy men to get dating for real.
This book is great. Not only is it very well written, I think it is one of the few books of it’s kind in existence. Men are commonly left to initiate contact with women and make the first move in dating and relationships, but when you are shy this is far from easy. There are many books out there that give dating advice and tips on how to pick up women, but they are really not very useful to somebody who is extremely shy and nervous. There are many younger guys and older adult men who are so shy they find asking a woman out on a date isn’t just difficult, it’s so uncomfortable it can cause anxiety, not only ruining their chances to date the woman they are asking out, but also making them feel worse about themselves than they did before. The more bad experiences shy men have when trying to ask women out, the more discouraged they get, and this often makes them even more shy. This book targets shyness as one of the biggest obstacles preventing men from meeting and dating women. Rather than just telling the reader how they should act and dress and suggesting they go right out and try to ask women out, Chris starts first by attacking the problem of shyness directly with a well thought out step by step plan. The reader is told to start small and by following his guide, the reader hones simple skills that can’t help but build confidence, calm nerves and erode shyness. Advice on how to act and what to say are useless if they don’t attack the main problem of shyness. Each step the reader takes builds on the last until finally, he is no longer the same shy person he was when he first picked up the book.
The author says the book is semi-autobiographical, with advice borne out of real life experience, which adds credibility. Most of the scenarios in the book are ones that just about anybody can identify with no matter if you are shy or not, because it cites difficult real-life scenarios, e.g. such as how to interact with people at a party even if something embarrasing happened to you (like a drink being spilled on your shirt, etc.). This is a book that takes shyness more seriously than anything else I’ve read. Shy readers will feel they can relate. Even non-shy can benefit from this book. Lots of confident men may not suffer from shyness, but that doesn’t mean their dating and relationships are satisfactory and fulfilling. Even these men could learn more than a thing or two from the social lessons in this book. Whoever you are grab a copy and dive in. You won’t regret it.
Well-written and inspirational!
Really enjoyed this book. In an engaging, and direct writing style, Chris takes the reader through the steps necessary to significantly improve your social skills and dating success. What I like about the author’s approach is that he breaks this process down into simple easy-to-follow steps. For someone who is struggling with an unsuccessful social/dating life, and in a mental rut about the whole thing, the situation can seem overwhelming. But, in fact, by taking simple – and easily accomplished – steps, the necessary changes are actually far less daunting than they may originally appear.
And that’s the author’s gift – to gently coax the reader into taking those steps, and convincing him that if he does, a better life is not only possible, but probable. It truly offers new (and realistic!) hope to those sitting on the social sidelines. Highly recommended. P.S. One final thing: as an author and publisher myself, I have to say, I really appreciated the production quality of this book – it’s beautiful!
Where was this book 10 years ago ?
As an extremely skeptical person, I expected this book to change my life in exactly zero ways. Seven shades of red later, I am glad to admit that I was completely wrong. Either the author and I are twins separated at birth or he has spent hundreds of hours watching and documenting my painful interactions with the opposite sex, but every word seemed penned exclusively for me. This isn’t your typical “3 minute abs” miracle cure that is all hype and no substance. Quite the contrary. Chris Gray has managed to “explain” the shy male in a way that only a fellow shy male could. The book is not a collection of empty promises or a long-winded thesis written by some PhD hopeful. This is real advice that you can start integrating into your normal routine, today. Whether you buy into only one or all of Chris Gray’s techniques ( I hesitate to call them techniques because it sounds so scientific ), you WILL become a better, happier, more successful, well-adjusted human being. You simply can’t help it.
May have saved my marriage!
I have been married for over 20 years, but after that time my wife came to the point where she had to say that although I was a good friend, she didn’t find me attractive, and wanted to leave. This was devastating to me, and since she didn’t give me any specifics on why she felt this way, I had to do some digging. This is one of the first books I came across, and it was a true Godsend. It didn’t take long for me to see that I was not only “the shy guy” but also “the nice guy”. I needed a crash course on masculine attraction, but being a strong introvert I needed the teaching to come from someone who understood my introverted nature. I quickly adopted several of the principles found in the book. At the time I had no guarantee that my marriage would be saved, but I realized that whether it would or not I needed to learn this so I could stand on my own in case the marriage did end. Well, the good news is that through this process (along with some others) our marriage was kindled in a way it hadn’t ever been before. We literally felt like this was a new relationship, and we called it our “second marriage”. So although I wouldn’t say that all this happened becuase of the book, I will say that it provided a crucial bit of information at a time of real crisis. My heartfelt thanks to the author for writing this–thank you!
This book is truly excellent. Very-well written, and very insightful. I have read a few other books that were completely useless (check out my other reviews), but this book was written by someone who truly understands what your situation is, and gives you excellent advice on how to improve yourself. Highly recommended!
Shy and Want to Improve Your Success With Women? – Buy This Book.
Not only is “From Shy to Social” an excellent read, but you’ll be a better man for having read it. The author Christopher Gray has first-hand experience of the struggles and realities of the love-shy man and offers helpful insights and advice, as well as practical (and incremental) assignments to help you improve your social and dating skills. This is an enjoyable read that doesn’t insult the reader’s intelligence with cheesy pickup lines or pick up artist gimmickry. Thanks Christopher for an excellent resource that will make a real difference in helping shy men take control of their lives and attract women more confidently.
Useful, informative, poignant.
A fine and insightful account of the challenges faced by the socially-shy. Author Christopher Gray offers personal reflections on this issue as well as some psychology. By the time you get to the dating-tips section of the book, you will find yourself rooting for the love-shy guy. Gray offers clear, easy-to-follow steps on overcoming shyness, in both the dating and social fields. Definitely a good book for anyone who has ever felt like a wallflower or odd-man-out.
The slap in the face I was needing
This isn’t some dating book only, it goes way too deep, tackling on other things that may be bottering you and you had no idea that those things ever existed on you… it’s written on a way that all of us feel familiar with it. Thanks Christopher for sharing and writting this book.
Great book for shy men
Many books that attempt help to improve male social skills with women do not take shy people into account. This is unfortunate as someone who is painfully shy will have a hard time implementing the strategies of those books. This author takes a different approach that I think is refreshing. While I am not “painfully shy” anymore I read the book to get some general tips on how to more social.
The book integrates topics and assignments on the belief that practice makes perfect (something I believe in). Some topics in the book include: Understanding shyness, positive vs. negative thoughts, working on your voice/body language, improving you look, improving your daily interactions, how to have a conversation in general, how to engage women, etc. Assignments progress upwards (e.g., from posting in online forums to actually talking to women). The book is an easy read and I think would add value to any shy man.
I think I should mention that it is my belief that you should walk before you run, so I think if someone is painfully shy they should buy other books on how to make general conversation/small talk first and then use this book to help increase their skills towards interacting with women. But as I previously stated, I think this is a great book. As a former shy person I can definitely say that the author understands what shy men go through and has some solid strategies to help them in the dating world.
A great book for some, good for others
As a shy guy myself, I am so happy that a book like this is around to help guys like me prepare for meeting and attracting women. I appreciate how sympathetic and understanding Christopher Gray is about shyness compared to a lot of other books on this sensitive topic. He does offer some great advice. However, as I was reading through this book, I couldn’t help but think that a more accurate title would have been “From Shy to Social: The Upwardly Mobile, Urban Professional Shy Man’s Guide to Personal and Dating Success”. The book gives the clear impression that one must have a high-paying job, live in a (fairly) big city with enough money to be able to go to bars and night clubs and be able to afford a wide range of opportunities where shy guys would be able to come into contact with lots of women. While this may be true, the book seems to gloss over the fact that there are many men (shy and non-shy) have been significantly impacted by the post-2008 economic crunch in a negative way and as a result simply may not have the financial resources to be able to do some of the things he recommends, even though they want to. If you don’t live in a big city and can’t afford to live on your own; if you can’t really afford bars or night clubs; and if you’re just hanging on for dear life in this difficult economy, I don’t feel this book is quite as helpful. I realize that he’s trying to cover a wide amount of territory, but the book would be even more effective if he provided more acknowledgment of these realities . All that said, this is still an important book, one that should be on every shy man’s bookshelf.