A groundbreaking, practical program for transforming troubled relationships into positive ones
“This is the best book on relationships I have ever read. . . . John Gottman has decoded the subtle secrets that can either enrich or destroy the quality of our ties with others.” Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D., author of After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship
“John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. In The Relationship Cure, he has found gold once again.”William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart
“When he says his five steps will help you build better connections with the people you care about, you know that they have been demonstrated to work.” E. Mavis Heatherington, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of Virginia
From the country’s foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life—with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman:
* Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls “emotional connection”
* Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional “bid,” the fundamental unit of emotional connection
* Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others’ bids
- Paperback: 336 pages
- Publisher: Three Rivers Press; Reprint edition (June 25, 2002)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0609809539
- ISBN-13: 978-0609809532
- Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.8 x 8 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
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excellent, very insightful!
Three Relationship Keys
(1) Turning Against–those who criticize;
(2) Turning Away–those who do not engage directly;
(3) Turning Toward–those who truly respond to you with empathy.
Then start pruning away the dead wood!
best communication book I’ve ever read
Excellent advice on relationships!
When one of my best friends confided to me that her husband had moved out and they were on the verge of divorce, I said, “Read this book together with him. It changed my life. Maybe it can help you, too.” A few months later, she told me through tears that going through the process of reading this book together had changed their life too, and that now they were closer than ever. I ended up buying another copy to keep for myself.
For the preview- it breaks communication down to simple “bids” for connection, the way you could respond to them, and the outcomes of various types of responses. Apparently, we are a lot more predictable than we realize, and I have found the information to be tried and true in my life since I first read the hardcover edition when it first came out, happening upon it by accident in the bookstore.
The Key to Relationship Success
This is the first book of his I’ve read, and I loved it. I found it very profound, yet surprisingly simple.
*I liked the explanation of ‘the bid.’ It’s a basic theory, but it seems to be forgotten after a while in a relationship.
*I liked the chapter on ‘emotional heritage.’ The self evaluations are extremely helpful in taking a look at your past and how your family dynamics can come into play in your adult years.
*I liked how the information in this book can be applied to any type of relationship: romantic, friendship, family / sibling, and co-workers.
*Some of the information seems like it should be common sense, but it also seems necessary for the author to state it clearly in this book because it seems to get lost in so many relationships,
This book seems like an undertaking when you first flip through it, but I found that it read very fluently and fairly quickly.
I would recommend it to everyone, especially those wanting to strengthen the love in their life.
I love it so far!
great for ALL relationships
Whether you think you are the best sales rep in the west, have the most dynamic marriage on the planet, or feel a little more socially awkward – this book alone will help you strengthen core skills to build better relationships.