THIS WEEK ON DAYTIME: Celebrity Divorce Lessons — from Jon and Kate Gosselin to Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott

October 12, 2009

Be sure to tune in to Daytime on Tuesday, October 13 when I’ll be talking about Celebrity Divorce Lessons — what can we learn from their very public mistakes?

Celebrity Divorce Lessons

This Tuesday on Daytime, I’m talking about celeb divorce, nasty breakups, and what it all means for the rest of us.

What can we learn from Jon & Kate Gosselin?
Jon and Kate Gosselin landed back in the news last week after Kate accused Jon of taking more than $200,000 out of their joint banking account. Jon and Kate did the talk show rounds this week — her stand: he left her with less than $1000 to pay bills. His take: he was owed that money as a salary for their TV show.

Jon added another log to the fire when he decided that his kids should no longer be involved on the TLC show. Apparently TLC decided that the show would focus more on Kate as a single mom, with less participation from Jon. And suddenly, after 5 long seasons of Jon and Kate Plus Eight, Jon feels that a show without him in it probably isn’t so great for the kids after all. Kate’s take: This is how she supports their children — why now?

(Personally, while I’m not a fan of putting kids on a reality TV show, I do have to say that it seems awfully coincidental that Jon came to this conclusion the week after he learned he would no longer be on the show.)

On another note, okay, let’s say he really doesn’t want his kids to do the show for their own good. How is he planning to support them? Is the occasional milkshake shop appearance really going to be enough to pay the bills?

What we can learn: First, you don’t drain the family bank account, especially when children are involved. Let the mediator sort it out. Second, when it comes to the kids, it doesn’t matter who’s right and who’s wrong — and every time mom publicly slams dad, or dad publicly trashes mom, it tears away yet another piece of the kids’ hearts. Don’t do it, no matter how tempting it might be.

See article: Jon & Kate Plus 8: Why I’m Defending Kate

What does the Mary Jo Eustace/ Dean McDermott divorce teach us?
Quick recap: Tori Spelling met her current husband Dean McDermott on the set of a Lifetime movie called Mind Over Murder while they were both married to other people. Tori was married to a writer/actor named Charlie Shanian. Dean was married to Mary Jo Eustace, a Canadian TV host and actress turned author – the two had been married for 12 years with one son, and a newly-adopted baby daughter.

According to Mary Jo’s essay in The Other Woman returned from shooting the movie and told his wife how he felt about Tori:

“We’re soulmates,” he says. “She loves me unconditionally.”

“What conditions?” I screamed. “You’ve only known each other three weeks.”

What can we learn?
Many times when people have affairs, they think they’ll just leave their spouse(s) and ride off into the sunset with the mistress (or in Tori’s case, mister.) But Mary Jo Eustace didn’t just get mad, she’s gotten even and penned a book called Divorce Sucks: What to Do When Irreconcilable Differences, Lawyer Fees, and Your Ex???s Hollywood Wife Make You Miserable — where she gives a play-by-play of what happened.

Let’s just say that it doesn’t exactly paint Tori and Dean in the kindest light.

Another lesson here is that now that she’s cleansed her soul with a tell-all book, Mary Jo will be healthier and happier once she’s able to move past her anger and on with her life.

Obviously, as anyone who’s ever been cheated on knows — easier said than done.

What can we learn from the Ted Turner/Jane Fonda divorce?

The public didn’t get wind of the divorce until it was over, and that’s just the way Turner and Fonda wanted it. The upside here? No airing dirty laundry in public. No additional damage to family members.
Just a quiet parting of the ways and the assets.

The truth is, hurting your ex or your spouse might feel absolutely great in the moment. But it doesn’t get you over the relationship any faster — in fact, often, it keeps you in the battle longer.


Lisa appears every week on Daytime, check your local TV listings for times and stations.

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Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You???ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

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