Is it Romantic Armageddon or Uncomfortable Shoes?
13 Warning Signs You're About To Get Dumped!
By Lisa Daily
Want to know
if your relationship is about to hit the skids?
Looking for
tell-tale signs that your love will last through next week?
Well, look no
further. Below you'll find the "Unlucky 13" -13 warning signs you're
about to get dumped.
We surveyed a
variety of experts to find the most common warning signs a person is about to
get dumped --including psychologists, body language experts, graphologists,
private investigators and a divorce attorney. And here's what we found:
1. Is it
romantic Armageddon, or uncomfortable shoes?
Where the toes
point, the heart follows. According to body language expert Patti Wood, MA,
CSP, you should, "look at your sweetie's feet when you are out with other
people." She says, "if they are pointed at you, great." If
they're pointed at someone else, your partner may be looking to walk.
2. You're
starting to feel like a telemarketer.
Is your
sweetie anxious to end phone conversations right away? A person who knows she's
going to end the relationship with you, but hasn't done so yet will be itching
to get off the phone with you. If she is talking to you, but not adding
anything to the conversation it's sign she is heading towards the finish line.
She's probably just pacing herself.
3. He's no
longer interested in sex, or worse, he has a new bag of tricks and a trapeze
with the tags still on it.
A dramatic
change in sexual behavior can mean two things:
a) He wants to
avoid any situation where he might have to express emotion or attachment to
you, or
b) He's
getting it somewhere else.
4. He
avoids talking about the future.
We're not just
talking the general, garden-variety aversion that men have to discussing relationships.
We're talking about a man who avoids having one of those "we have to
talk" talks like it's a shot of the Plague. As for the future, when next
Thursday seems like too much of a commitment, it could be because he's trying
to extricate himself by Wednesday night.
5. He says,
"I need some space" or "I think we should see other
people."
According to
psychologist Jesse Rabinowitz, Ph.D, people don't usually want to hurt someone
else, so they use "exit strategies." By telling you he wants to see
other people, he's not technically breaking up with you (so no big crying scene
to endure) but he's given himself a way out. Of course, the second he gets a
little distance, he's going to make a run for it.
6. If she's
looking left, something's not right.
According to
Bill Raduenz, private investigator, a person who looks up into the air and to
the left when she speaks to you is "not being truthful." The look
left is an indication we're using the "creative" side of our brains
and a good indicator she's telling you a whopper.
7. He gives
you that little pat on the back.
Watch out for
this one. A person who gives you a hug while patting you on the back is
indicating that they are uneasy. According to Raduenz, the "hand pat"
on the back indicates someone is uncomfortable with what they're doing. The
bigger the pat, the more discomfort they feel.
There's more.
Another important sign that things may not be going well is the amount of
contact during a hug. Full frontal contact is good. The one-shoulder hug, or
pulling away in other areas could be a sign the person is
"distancing" in the relationship. If it's a new relationship, the
other person may not be quite ready for that level of physical contact. If it's
an established relationship, it could be a sign the person is pulling away, or
getting ready to break off the relationship.
8. You
don't like what you see in the mirror.
People mirror
each other's body language when they are in love with similar gestures, voice
volume, etc. If you're noticing the two of you are out of sync, you probably
are.
That's not
all. According to body language expert Wood, a person who is about to dump you
will display a lack of open "windows" towards you.
"Windows" being his heart, eyes, neck and palms. If your man turns
his heart (the center of his chest) away from you as you are talking to each
other, it's a big sign he's not interested.
9. You see
the writing on the wall.
According to
graphologist Karen Weinberg, QDE, a person who is thinking of ending a relationship
will show clues in her handwriting. When writing the word "love" she
may begin to drop down the letter "e." Another sign to watch for is
if your partner diminishes the size of your name (sign of your importance to
her.)
10. Every
normal person should know which way the toilet paper goes...
If she's
picking silly fights, or there's an unusual increase in emotional distance,
you've got bad news. According to Melvyn Frumkes, an attorney specializing in
divorce, "a person who picks nonsensical arguments is trying to get the
other person (you) to make the first move."
11. He
keeps you waiting. And waiting. And waiting.
"Time is
an important non-verbal communicator," says Wood. If he keeps you waiting,
it's a sign his interest is waning, and a sign of disrespect.
This is true
for dates as well. If he starts waiting until the very last minute to make date
plans with you, it's likely he's lost interest, or he's hoping something better
will come along and he's using you as a back-up.
12. She
buys a personal pager, or a pre-paid cell phone.
This is bad
news. Just about every private investigator in the book will tell you the pager
purchase is a sign of impending heartbreak. Sure, it could be for work, but
more likely, she's using it to get a head start on her post-you life. Beep Beep
- Bye Bye.
13. He used
to be a three-blue-shirts-and-four-pair-of-Chinos kind of guy, and suddenly
he's obsessed with Armani.
According to
Attorney Mel Frumkes, a person who is about to leave (or is cheating) will take
greater care with his appearance - updating his wardrobe, losing weight,
working out and even changing cologne. If your sweetie looks like he just
finished taping an episode of "A Makeover Story" - Those Chinos might
not be the only dud he's looking to lose.
Want to know
when you're most likely to get the axe? Most experts agree it's somewhere in
the neighborhood of the first 3-5 months. So, stock up on tissues and Ben &
Jerry's if you're heading into the danger zone.
Only time (and
his shoes) will tell.
Lisa Daily is the author of Stop Getting Dumped! All you
need to know to make men fall madly in love with you and marry "The
One" in 3 years or less. At bookstores everywhere.
