Pressure Doesn’t Always Produce a Diamond

July 28, 2009

There is an important lesson to be learned: Men, when pressured (even if it???s only in their own minds) will retreat. Men left to their own feelings without pressure or expectation, will respond in ways so romantic we could never anticipate.

Here???s something about men and marriage that is lesser known. As terrified as they are of hearing that little word, most men are actually quite comfortable with the idea of getting married, and may already be considering you as their prime candidate. This hardly seems to make sense, and yet, it???s true. Most men are reluctant to talk about marriage before they are ready to bring up the subject. However, if they are the one to initiate the marriage talks, they???re usually very comfortable with the act of getting married! Once a man goes through the action of planning and executing his big, romantic proposal, he can hardly wait to actually get married. This is a huge contrast to men who get engaged because their girlfriend tortures them to agree to go engagement ring shopping until he???d do almost about anything (including getting engaged when he has no intention of getting married) to get her to shut up about marriage for just one second???

Just as a man who truly wants to ask you for a date will find a way to overcome everything from shyness to a foreign language, a man who wants to marry you will ask you himself. Don???t think for one second he needs you to remind him of how much he loves you, or how much his mother thinks you make a nice couple, or how cute/smart/athletically gifted your children might be. If he wants to marry you, he???s already thinking about those things. If he???s not already thinking about it, there???s absolutely nothing you can or should do to push him in that direction.

Last, look at it this way: Follow the methods in Stop Getting Dumped! and you’ll likely have a spontaneous, incredibly romantic engagement memory to share with your friends and grandchildren. Much, much better than an engagement ring begrudgingly offered up because you???ve been badgering the poor boy for months and he hesitantly caved after you and the jewelry store clerk had him cornered two-on-one.


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Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally relatable and hilarious novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You???ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

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