Advice for Dating: 13 Signs You’re About To Get Dumped!

June 27, 2009

13 Warning Signs You???re About To Get Dumped
By Lisa Daily

Want to know if your relationship is about to hit the skids?

Looking for tell-tale signs that your love will last through next week?

Well, look no further, dahlings. Below you’ll find the “Unlucky 13” -13 warning signs you’re about to get dumped.

We surveyed a variety of experts to find the most common warning signs a person is about to get dumped –including psychologists, body language experts, graphologists, private investigators and a divorce attorney. And here’s what we found:

1. When you???re together, his toes are pointing away from you.
Our bodies line up when we???re in love (heart to heart, face to face) and conversely, when things start to go wrong, the feet are one of the first places you???ll see it. He may be with you now, but if his feet are either heading out the door, or worse, towards someone else, he may be looking to walk.

2. He’s no longer interested in sex, or worse, he has a new bag of tricks and a trapeze with the tags still on it.
Barring medical problems, if there???s a dramatic change in sexual behavior (less sex, or different sex,) watch out. He???s either learning it somewhere else or getting it somewhere else.

3. You’re starting to feel like a telemarketer.

Is your sweetie anxious to end phone conversations right away? A person who knows he’s going to end the relationship with you, but hasn’t done so yet will be itching to get off the phone with you. If he is talking to you, but not adding anything to the conversation it’s sign he is heading towards the finish line. He’s probably just pacing himself.

4. He says, ???I need some space??? or ???I think we should see other people.???
It???s obvious, but we miss it every day. Women will say, ???We???re not breaking up, we???re just seeing other people.??? If you???re seeing other people, you???re not a couple. And while he’s not technically breaking up with you (so no big crying scene to endure) he’s given himself a way out. Of course, the second he gets a little distance, he’s going to make a run for it.

5. He avoids talking about the future.
We’re not just talking the general, garden-variety aversion that men have to discussing relationships. We’re talking about a man who avoids having one of those “we have to talk” talks like it’s a shot of the Plague. As for the future, when next Thursday seems like too much of a commitment, it could be because he’s trying to extricate himself by Wednesday night.

6. When he hugs you, he gives you that little pat-pat-pat on the back.
A person who gives you a hug while patting you on the back is indicating that they are uneasy, and the bigger the pat, the more discomfort they feel.

7. He starts picking fights about stupid stuff, like which way the toilet paper roll goes.
We find reasons to argue when we want out. If you find yourself bickering over such pressing issues as why Hulk Hogan, not The Rock, should be crowned King of Wrestlemania, your partner is trying to make you look like the bad guy so he doesn???t feel so bad when he leaves. ???That???s it!??? he???ll scream, after another paper versus plastic bout. ???I can???t take this anymore! I???m LEAVING!???

8. If he’s looking left, something’s not right.
When someone looks up and to the left when they???re speaking to you, it usually means they???re lying. The look left is an indication we’re using the “creative” side of our brains and a good indicator he’s telling you a whopper.

9. The Mirror is Broken
People mirror each other’s body language when they are in love with similar gestures, voice volume, etc. If you’re noticing the two of you are out of sync, you probably are.

That’s not all. According to body language expert Wood, a person who is about to dump you will display a lack of open “windows” towards you. “Windows” being his heart, eyes, neck and palms. If your man turns his heart (the center of his chest) away from you as you are talking to each other, it’s a big sign he’s not interested.

10. You see the writing on the wall.
According to graphologist Karen Weinberg, QDE, a person who is thinking of ending a relationship will show clues in her handwriting. When writing the word “love” she may begin to drop down the letter “e.” Another sign to watch for is if your partner diminishes the size of your name (sign of your importance to her.)

11. He keeps you waiting. And waiting. And waiting.
“Time is an important non-verbal communicator,” says Wood. If he keeps you waiting, it’s a sign his interest is waning, and a sign of disrespect. This is true for dates as well. If he starts waiting until the very last minute to make date plans with you, it’s likely he’s lost interest, or he’s hoping something better will come along and he’s using you as a back-up.

12. He buys a personal pager, or a pre-paid cell phone.
This is bad news. Just about every private investigator in the book will tell you the pre-paid purchase is a sign of impending heartbreak. Sure, it could be for work, but more likely, he’s using it to get a head start on his post-you life. Beep Beep – Bye Bye.

13. He used to be a three-blue-shirts-and-four-pair-of-Chinos kind of guy, and suddenly he’s obsessed with Armani.

A person who is about to leave (or is cheating) will take greater care with his appearance – updating his wardrobe, losing weight, working out and even changing cologne. If your sweetie looks like he just finished taping an episode of “A Makeover Story” – Those Chinos might not be the only dud he’s looking to lose.

Want to know when you’re most likely to get the axe? Most experts agree it’s somewhere in the neighborhood of the first 3-5 months if you???re dating, or around the eight-year mark for married couples. So, stock up on tissues and Ben & Jerry’s if you find yourself heading down the wrong road.

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Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You???ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.

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