Ask Lisa! : Is He Playing Me?

December 31, 2008

Dear Lisa,

My son’s father and I have never been married. We’d only been dating for a
month when I found out I was pregnant. We moved in together and stayed together until our son was 4 months old. Whenever he and his girlfriend break up he comes to me. He’s done this several times and I always end up getting hurt. This time though, we’ve actually been going on dates and talking on the phone daily, and he’s been seeing his son more regularly. Do you think he is just playing me?

I’ve always been in love with him and know there is something between us. I want to believe that he’s really changing and wants to work things out and get back together, but I keep thinking that he’s just going to end up hurting me again. Any suggestions?

Deja vu

Dear Deja,
I know this is going to be difficult, but my suggestion is that you listen to what your intuition is telling you. In case you have any doubts, let me play it back to you:

“He’s done this several times and I always end up getting hurt.” “I keep thinking that he is just going to end up hurting me again.”

Sure, occasionally people change. But mostly, they stay the same. I think you already know what you don’t want to believe — that a relationship with this man is a bad idea. There’s a reason why this guy keeps coming back to you. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s love. I think it’s because you let him. Set your standards a lot higher girl, you deserve it. And so does your baby.

xo,