Ask Lisa! How important is it to say “I Love You”?

March 31, 2009

Dear Lisa,

I stumbled upon your book at work, and read it from cover to cover. I read with great interest your chapter on the “Love” word. I completely agree that the man should be allowed to say it first. I???ve been in a wonderful relationship for over a year now. Here???s my problem: My boyfriend has never said, ???I love you??? to me. He shows me all the time. He has absolutely no problem with spending lots of quality time with me, making nice dinners, foot rubs, etc. I don’t think this word was used much in his family, and never in a romantic sense. I am the most serious relationship he has ever had. We talk about the future. I feel confident that if I did say it he would definitely say it in return and mean it. What in the world should I do?

Sincerely,

Three Little Words

Dear Words,

Be patient, and don’t put so much importance on those three little words. They are, after all, just words. There are plenty of guys who will tell you they love you and then turn around and flirt with your roommate the second you leave the room, or use the ???love??? word as a relationship chaser for all sorts of other crap they pull.

I???d take the sweet, silent type every day of the week. Clearly your guy knows how to express love, even if the words are a little slow to escape. He’ll say it when he’s ready. What is most important is how he treats you, not what he says. It sounds like you have a great guy. Let him go at his own pace.

XO,

Lisa

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Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You???ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.