Advice for Dating: Pick Up Artists and Other Wild Animals

July 25, 2010



A lot of guys are combing the Internet in search of advice or tips on how to meet women, how to get more sex, or how to become a pick up artist like those one-named wonders Mystery, Style, Gambler, and Matador.

(Full disclosure: as a woman, I can hardly imagine being able to stop cracking up long enough to actually hook up with anyone named “Gambler” or “Matador” if I were otherwise inclined, but I digress.)

Some of the advice given on these pua forums and websites is actually good information — how to stand out and make women notice you (wear bulky clothing to appear bigger than you are, stand in a dominant stance when you’re trying to attract women, use humor to disarm) but many of the sites available purport to teach guys how to get a girlfriend, when in all actuality, they’re really just giving advice on how to get sex by faking a connection that doesn’t really exist, other than insert tab B into slot A.

Two different things.

If you want sex without strings, my advice is not for you. Why? There are always strings. Women are biologically and chemically programmed to bond with a man during sex. Sorry. Sometimes it’s not such a great thing for us either.

If you, however, are interested in actually finding a girlfriend, while pick up advice can help you use your testosterone to your greatest advantage in meeting a woman, the thing to remember is that no two women are alike, no two couples are alike, and that finding a real mental, physical and sexual bond with someone only happens when you’re both being true to who you really are.

So, while pick up advice might help you get the girl, it will rarely help you keep her. There is someone exactly right for the real you. Someone who will love you, respect you, and help you accomplish all that you’re destined to.

Be yourself. And stay away from dorky nicknames.

XO,

Have a question for Lisa Daily? Leave a comment below.


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Need Advice for Dating? Dating Coach and Relationships Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books, Stop Getting Dumped!, How to Date Like a Grownup and the totally funny novel Fifteen Minutes of Shame. You???ve seen her everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.











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