BEDIQUETTE: What your sleeping habits say about your relationship.

February 28, 2015

Lisa Daily Daytime Show
Snuggle all night or separate beds? This week on Daytime I’m talking about what your sleeping habits say about your relationship. Turns out, a recent study from Ryerson University in Toronto found that 30 – 40% of couples don’t sleep in the same bed, which is what we’ll be talking about this week on the Daytime show.

Is sleeping separately a sign of relationship doom?
Oddly enough, the answer is no. Some couples just need their own space. Maybe your partner snores or has medical issues, or tosses and turns all night. Lots of couples sleep separately, and it doesn’t mean that their relationship is doomed. That said, if you went from snuggling all night to separate sides of the bed to separate bedrooms, you may be experiencing some trouble in your relationship. And a dramatic change in sleep or sex habits can spell infidelity.

Does the housing trend of dual master suites mean more couples want to sleep alone?
Some do, sure. But many of these home buyers want dual master suites for other reasons. Maybe they have an older parent who’s living with them, or maybe an adult child has moved home after facing a difficult job market. Also, when couples have young kids, sometimes the kids end up in mom and dad’s bed and there just isn’t enough room for everybody to sleep comfortably. Some partners snore. Some partners need the room warm and toasty while others want the air on full blast.

Benefits and downsides to sleeping together.
Here’s the good news: Of partners who slept less than 1 inch apart, 86% reported being happy, according to a study conducted at the University of Hertforshire. But only 66% of respondents in the same study reported being happy in their relationship when regularly sleeping 30 or more inches away from their partner. Snuggling and sleeping together have some serious upsides: First, sleeping together lowers your cortisol level — that’s the stress hormone released in your body when you’re under stress. Snuggling also boosts your oxytocin levels. Scientists refer to oxytocin as the “cuddle hormone.” It bonds mothers to their babies and couples to each other, and plays a big part in why we feel so close to someone when we cuddle with them. Now for the downside of sleeping in the same bed. Studies have shown that couples who sleep together continually wake each other up all night –so they never really get the benefits of deep sleep. If your partner’s snoring, tossing, or sleep habits keep you sleep deprived on a regular basis, you can suffer everything from obesity to depression. Not to mention chronic crankiness.

What should you do if you want to sleep in the same bed but your partner is driving you crazy?
If you’re desperate to avoid the I Love Lucy two-bed solution there are a few fixes you can try before you take your pillow and head for the couch.
1) Try a bed that minimizes movement (remember the guy jumping on the Tempurpedic without disturbing the wine glass?)
2) Have snuggle or sex time together, and then sleep separately.
3) Don’t exercise or use electronics at least an hour before bed.
4) Solve temperature issues with a heating pad or electric blanket.
5) If snoring solutions don’t work (try the strips, the pillow, and asking your partner to sleep on his/her side) you can always invest in ear plugs.


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