Ask Lisa!

Ask Lisa!

Here, author Lisa Daily answers our most frequently asked questions. Do you have a question about the STOP GETTING DUMPED! methods, or just need some good advice? Just E-mail Lisa at asklisa@stopgettingdumped.com

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Dear Lisa: I am not exactly what you'd call beautiful. I'm sorry, but I just don't see how men will be falling at my feet no matter WHAT I do.

Dear Lisa: Every time I meet a guy I like, it seems like we have a couple of fantastic dates, and then just as I think he's getting serious, he stops calling. What's up with that? Am I just dating the wrong guys?

Dear Lisa: Why does your book say not to sleep with a man on the first date? I've done it a couple of times, and had decent relationships with the guy afterward. Besides, isn't that just a little old-fashioned?

Dear Lisa: I'm dating a man who is very nice, and he says he loves me, but I feel like I'm doing all the work in the relationship. I feel that if I didn't make plans, organize dates, etc. our whole relationship would just come to a halt. How can I make my boyfriend more pro-active? In three years, he's never given me a gift unless he had to (birthday, X-mas)even though I give him little gifts and notes all the time. I try to treat him the way that I want to be treated, but he never reciprocates.

Do you have a question about the STOP GETTING DUMPED! methods, or just need some good advice? Just E-mail Lisa at asklisa@stopgettingdumped.com

Dear Lisa: I am not exactly what you'd call beautiful. I'm sorry, but I just don't see how men will be falling at my feet no matter WHAT I do.

Fortunately for most of us, physical beauty only gets a person so far. Sure, it may make meeting a man a little easier, but trust me, when it comes to keeping a man, it's actions, not looks that count. Truthfully, if you follow the methods, it won't matter much. Love and desire are strange animals- and even a plain woman can be the object of desire and passion if she believes herself to be deserving. If you value yourself, men will too. Follow the methods, make the most of your physical appearance, and know that true beauty is on the inside.

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Dear Lisa: Every time I meet a guy I like, it seems like we have a couple of fantastic dates, and then just as I think he's getting serious, he stops calling. What's up with that? Am I just dating the wrong guys?

I hate to break it to you, but it's probably you. If it happens once, or twice, yeah, maybe it's the guy. If the same thing keeps happening to you over and over again, chances are it's you. Some vibe you're sending out is screaming DESPERATE!!!!! What can you do about it? Change your behavior. Make a concentrated effort to stop looking at every man you meet as the potential father for your child/groom for your fairy-tale wedding. Read STOP GETTING DUMPED! cover to cover before you go on another date. Start a rotation and follow the methods religiously. If you do, I guarantee, your man won't just stop calling you. He'll be panting at your feet.

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Dear Lisa: Why does your book say not to sleep with a man on the first date? I've done it a couple of times, and had decent relationships with the guy afterward. Besides, isn't that just a little old-fashioned?

Is "decent" really the kind of relationship you're looking for? Not passionate, not life-altering, not amazing, mind-blowing romantic? If you're asking this question, my guess is, "decent" probably isn't good enough. So here's your answer: Don't sleep with a man on the first date! Ever! Nobody values anything that anybody can get. Trust me, even if you've never slept with any man on the first date before, he'll always wonder how many others there were.

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Dear Lisa: I'm dating a man who is very nice, and he says he loves me, but I feel like I'm doing all the work in the relationship. I feel that if I didn't make plans, organize dates, etc. our whole relationship would just come to a halt. How can I make my boyfriend more pro-active? In three years, he's never given me a gift unless he had to (birthday, X-mas)even though I give him little gifts and notes all the time. I try to treat him the way that I want to be treated, but he never reciprocates.

Yikes. You have a bad situation here. You can do two things. 1) Stop wasting your time, dump him today and buy new underwear for his replacement, or 2) Keep him, but stop rowing the boat to see if you are dead in the water, or if he'll pick up the slack. Stop rewarding him with gifts when he's acting like a jerk! Go back to the book. Follow the methods. He'll either shape up, or make it crystal clear that he is not the one. If the two of you have gotten into this nasty pattern, it's clear you weren't following the methods from the beginning of the relationship. Start now, and make him court you all over again. Either he will, or he won't. Either way, you'll end up with something a lot better than what you have now.

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Do you have a question about the STOP GETTING DUMPED! methods, or just need some good advice? Just E-mail Lisa at asklisa@stopgettingdumped.com

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